Fun-A-Day, 21

Ten more days to go! I can do this! Maybe. Sort of. Running out of ideas...

When I'm rich, I'm going to buy Converse All-Stars in every color, so that my shoes always match my shirt.

Fun-A-Day, 20

I'm not the consolation prize for the girl you love and can't have. Fuck you.

Fun-A-Day, 19

Wow, tedious. I cannot cut a perfect circle with scissors to save my life. This is yet another poem that includes information about food I hate. I actually have TWO poems about how much I hate eggs. I'm a woman of intense opinions- at least about food.

Taste Aversions

I was hungry.

I didn’t want a burrito.

I hate burritos.

you see, in the fifth grade, I went to the new girls’ house for dinner. Her name was Megan [redacted]. Her mother made burritos. It was the first time I ever ate one. Mrs. Kunkle [redacted] undercooked the meat and I got food poisoning and was sick for three days. Now I can't eat Mexican food. It makes me ill. I found out in Introduction to Psychology that this is called taste aversion. At least it has a name.

Anyway, I hate burritos.

I didn’t buy a burrito.

I bought those little mini-doughnuts

and a pack of Marlboros

because I collect the miles.

For 25,000 miles you can get a regulation size pool table.

Fun-A-Day, 18

I have an unusual craving for liquid soap.

Fun-A-Day, 16 and 17

Day 16. 

Half-way there. Running out of steam, ideas, motivation.

you with your perfect teeth

like piano keys to play the

music of your words

since you took mine away

 Day 17.

This one was a total pain in the ass.

it hurts to watch you

a small star of

agonizing euphoria

-s.

Fun-A-Day, 15

Out of the woods! Then work kicked my ass. Updating as quick as I can.

she eats blue passionflowers, leaves the edges
marked
with that gold lipstick of hers-
reminds her of a plate glass window from
heaven.

-s.

Fun-A-Day, 14

I finally used my lions!

My heart roars.

 -s.

Fun-A-Day, 13

I'm in the woods and don't have much access to the interwebs. I would, but my phone is a piece of shit that won't hold a charge. This is a silly collage, fun to make. Finding a plastic cow turned into my white whale.

The cow jumped over the moon
knocked it out of the sky
and now it's hot. 

-s.

Drunk Pictures: South Beach Edition.

I like beer. A lot. I realized recently that when I drink, I take photos of SUPER random shit. It's like drunk me is leaving little bread crumbs of mystery for sober me. Why would I take a picture of Walgreen's escalator? What was going on that I felt compelled to capture it digitally? 

Without further ado, here are things I take pictures of when I'm drunk, South Beach style!

Happy weekend!

-s.

Fun-A-Day, Day 12.

Getting there. I still have ideas, so that's a pleasant surprise. And I'm (mostly) keeping up, though I've fallen behind a few times.

This quote is from a poem I wrote after this awful woman I know died. She was the worst. But at her funeral, everyone was talking about her like she was super-nice and frankly, she was barely decent. All I could think was that maybe you could just not say anything, instead of bullshitting? Also, I'm a weird combination of morbid and vain.

when I die

please please please

do not bury me

in an ugly dress.

I'll be SO pissed.

-s.

Stupid day.

My day has been stupid.

Two thoughts today:

1. Why is everyone on Instagram naked?
2. Why do I own thigh high socks?

That's all I got.

-s.

Day 11.

Defacing U.S. currency. For shame.

This is one of those quotes that immediately make people ask what the fuck happened. Nothing at all happened. I'm a fiction writer. This stuff is not autobiographical, man.*  I've never set a school on fire either, but I have a great short story about it. This was fun to make, though it took some effort to get the pennies to stay put. It is also quite substantial- especially since it's only 4 X 6.

I smell his blood, like red pennies in my mouth.

s.

*Well, not all of it.

Days 9 and 10.

Day 9.

This is my favorite so far. The poem was originally an assignment for a writing academy. You had to pick a favorite poet and emulate the style. I chose e.e. cummings, not an easy dude to imitate. At the time I had nothing. A few weeks later, driving across the Birmingham Bridge, I was inspired. Wrote the whole thing in one swoop on a napkin, sitting in my car on Carson Street. The second quote is from the same poem!

a world of lead
is not a world of writing-
praise dead trees and rainforests, happy ink and
blood, but never this infine example of
hyperwesternization

Day 10.

hey, there's a hell 

of a good thought process next door, let's go.

Yay space!

-s.

Everyone is being so helpful.

Having two cats often feels like having thirty cats. Especially when they are in their asshole teenager phase. I work around them, but Otis has red paint on his feet and Ace steals things. *sigh*

ACE

Pencil thief extraordinaire.

OTIS

Oh hey, you doing something? Let me see.

But they're warm and adorable, so I'll keep them.

-s.

Day 8.

Day 8. 

I know I wasn't going to use any other author quotes, but I carried this goddamn coaster 100+ miles on my bike, from Key West to Key Largo, for this project. Last November I got into a 15-person passenger van with 5 friends, drove 22 hours to Key Largo, put the van in storage and spent 10 days riding and camping (and drinking and swimming) through the Florida Keys. It's pretty damn spectacular. Read about both trips here and here. 

I visited the Hemingway House and hung out with the six-toed cats. I got to see the spots where Hemingway wrote and drank. I also spent an afternoon day drinking at Sloppy Joe's, a favorite of his. I snagged this coaster and then managed to not get it wet, smash it, or lose it. I'm using it.

I drink to make other people more interesting. -Ernest Hemingway

Truer words were never spoken, Ernest.

-s.

Days 6 and 7.

Day 6. Back to work. Eww.

Before you start thinking I have some sort of reason or order or science behind this project, let me assure you, I picked this quote today because I happened to find some tiny camels. I also found some tiny lions, so look for a quote about lions soon. I'm a big history fan, especially historic ladies, and this poem was about Cleopatra (based off of the word addict, which has a fascinating etymology.) Two books in particular peaked my interest in Cleopatra and ancient Egypt in general. (This is also why I have a serious hate on for the Roman Empire. Bunch a dicks.) Stacy Schiff's award-winning biography Cleopatra: A Life and the fictionalized account of her life by Margaret George, Memoirs of Cleopatra are both fantastic, woman-friendly reads.

You licked you pale, chapped lips.

"How does it feel?"

I opened my eyes.

"Like Egypt before it was looted."

Day 7. Still not phoning it in!

I have the sense of humor of a teenage boy. Thus, this collage. Meat clouds! Exotic beef! That is about all I can say about it, really.

I am hungry.

For steak.

Or maybe clouds.

-s.

Day 5.

Day 5. Hmph.

I like the Jack Kerouac collage, even though the artwork feels a bit contrived to me. And I'll confess right now, this isn't the original collage I made for this quote. The first one I made was the definition of meh. I accidentally made an iceberg. I didn't even attempt to fix it, I just pitched it. (That bad!) Here's the better collage.

I feel like the word shatter. - Margaret Atwood

Anyway, I had sort of an epiphany today. I have all of these brilliant, thoughtful quotes from brilliant, thoughtful authors. That's great and I'm glad I get to read them. But I write, too. So, for the next 25 entries I'm using my own material. (*If you are paying attention to the math, you'll notice that only comes to 30.)

I am exquisitely, cripplingly self-conscious about this (and, honestly, everything about this project and...just everything all the time), so don't talk to me about it. I have an amazing, supportive friend that's known me since my days of slinging produce at the Green Grocer (thanks for all the cookies!) who believes I can do this. He's smart and wouldn't bullshit me. So here we go!

-s.

*Because Jesus Christ, 31 divides into NOTHING. Did I mention this project is forcing me to deal with my OCD tendencies? (I like symmetry. A lot. It says so in my introduction.) I want everything to be perfect and straight and it's not. Five quotes from authors, thirty from me, one guest quote TBA.

Fun-A-Day, Days 3 and 4.

Day 3. Still actually motivated. 

I went straight for the Pauline Reage quote from The Story of O. I guess my mind is on sex. (Of a fashion.) Good times. That's all I'm saying about that one, think what you like.

Keep me rather in this cage and feed me sparingly, if you dare. Anything that makes me closer to illness or the edge of death makes me  more faithful. It is only when you make me suffer that I feel safe and secure. You should never have agreed to be a god for me if you were afraid to assume the duties of god, and we know that they are not as tender as all that. You have already seen me cry. Now you must learn to relish my tears.

I am in quite the mood tonight.

Day 4. 

I have to go back to work tomorrow which means that this project is going to get harder, time-wise at least. This collage was by far the most tedious one I've done. It took me forever to find enough vowels to complete the whole quote. I needed one more "e" and couldn't find one and that's why the author name isn't on the front. Jack Kerouac, in case you didn't immediately recognize the quote. I hate talking about my feelings and when I do it's spectacularly awkward, so I feel this quote. Someday I will find the words. But I'll probably be alone in the shower at 3am when it happens.

I already have my idea for tomorrow and it involves prep work- mainly sorting through a bag of broken glass that I collected from a sidewalk. I did it under the cover of darkness because I'm aware that it's stuff like this that make my neighbors think I'm crazy.

-not crazy yet.

So I'm doing this thing...*Oh and I'm back.

I'm doing this thing called Fun-A-Day Pittsburgh this January. The basic idea is that you do something creative every day in January. It can be thirty-one separate projects, one big project you work on every day, a bunch of little projects, whatever, the world is your fucking oyster. Last year I made bookmarks. (Duh, librarian.)

This is what thirty-one bookmarks looks like.

This year I decided I was going to make thirty-one mini-collages (4x6) based on author quotes. Nifty idea, how hard can it be, right? I even did some pre-planning. (Not because I'm organized, I was just excited.)

So many plans!

You may be asking yourself, "Is that a quill and ink I see there?" You're goddamn right it is! It would fantastic if I wasn't left-handed and smudged the ink everywhere. But, I digress- this is one neatly numbered page of favorite quotes. In fact, I have thirty-five quotes (thirty-one and four to grow on? I dunno.)

Day 1. New Year's Day. Okay, I had a raging hangover and never moved from my couch. I thought about the project a lot, though.

Day 2. I resolutely went upstairs and got all of my supplies out. I lined everything up neatly, had my little notebook, some sweet emo tunes to get me all artistic...and nada. I mean, I have a NEW GLUE GUN for crying out loud! I had an interesting picture and some pearls, so I went for it with a Henry Miller quote.

To have her here in bed with me, breathing on me, her hair in my mouth- I count that as something of a miracle.

Hot.

I had to make two, so I followed it up with a quote from Henry Millers's lover, Anais Nin. (Aside: You should probably read Henry and June: The Unexpurgated Diary of Anais Nin.)

To think of him in the middle of the day lifts me out of ordinary living.

I'll be honest. I am not super-thrilled with either piece. But I'm not really an artist and it actually IS fun, so fuck it, I'll soldier on.

-having tons of fun

*Nothing happened in 2014 anyway, so you didn't miss anything.