Writing 'Naht.

DISCLAIMER: This is an uncensored version of the very first blog post I wrote for the library. I've had a few people ask me why I'm writing EVERY. SINGLE. WEEK. Here is my answer.

When I was a kid, I never wanted to be a ballerina or an astronaut. I wanted to be a writer. I wrote all through school. My undergraduate degree is in Writing. I kept a journal for twenty years. Yet I haven’t written a creative word since 2006. I often wonder if I’m being a sell-out because I have a totally square day job. *

Then I heard author Abraham Verghese (Cutting for Stone, My Own Country: A Doctors Story) at the Pittsburgh Arts and Lectures Monday Night Series. Verghese is an Infectious Diseases doctor who also happens to have an MFA from the Iowa Writers Workshop. He spoke eloquently about having a calling in life. Of Human Bondage by W. Somerset Maugham is what inspired him to become a doctor. A very specific quote from it motivated him to write:

Money is like a sixth sense without which you cannot make a complete use of the other five. Without an adequate income half the possibilities of life are shut off. The only thing to be careful about is that you do not pay more than a shilling for the shilling you earn. You will hear people say that poverty is the best spur to the artist. They have never felt the iron of it in their flesh. They do not know how mean it makes you. It exposes you to endless humiliation, it cuts your wings, it eats into your soul like a cancer.

Verghese believes that if you have a job you love and pays the bills, you’re damn lucky. Because despite the prevailing wisdom, suffering doesn’t make you more creative, or passionate or artistic. When I was broke all the time I was an anxious, miserable bitch.  And if you are able to write too, well, that’s gravy.

So. I’m going to write. Here are the books that inspire me to write.

For the language

A Partisan’s Daughter by Louis de Bernieres. An odd love story about the seduction of storytelling.
Bel Canto by Ann Patchett. Terrorism and opera.
Memories of My Melancholy Whores by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. "The year I turned ninety, I wanted to give myself the gift of a night of wild love with an adolescent virgin.”

For the characters

City of Thieves by David Benioff. A Jewish soldier in Russia, a dead German paratrooper, larger-than-life deserter Kolya.
World Without End by Ken Follet. A peasant’s wife, a knight, a builder and a nun.
Island Beneath the Sea by Isabel Allende. The beautiful slave Zarité, French aristocrat Toulouse, Haiti, New Orleans.

For the story

Cathedral of the Sea by Ildefons Falcones de Sierra. The building of the Santa Maria del Mar in 14th Century Barcelona.
A Blade of Grass by Lewis DeSoto. Ttwo young woman surviving a civil war in post-colonial Africa.
So Much for That by Lionel Shriver. A darkly moving (and funny) story about the failure of the United States health care system.

For the voice

Room by Emma Donoghue, the voice of Jack, a five year old boy.
The Book Thief by Marcus Zuzak, the voice of Death (quite kind, actually.)
Dog Boy by Eva Hornug, the voice of an abandoned Russian toddler and a pack of wild dogs.

Hopefully I write the next Great American Novel and get filthy rich. However, in the event that I don’t, at least I have a job I love.

*This is a patently ridiculous worry, as I went to graduate school (and I hate school) to get this specific job and kind of love it.

Bad Chicks.

For Women’s History Month I wanted to honor the “bad” girls of history. Then I got hung up on the definition of “bad” in this case. Do I mean bad like Nell Gwyn, orange-seller, comedienne and long-time mistress of King Charles II of England? Or bad like Countess Elizabeth Báthory de Ecsed, one of the most prolific serial killers of all time and fan of bathing in virgin blood? Both ladies are fascinating, but there are degrees of bad. I think Gwyn’s amorous misdemeanors sort of pale in comparison to murdering 600 people. But I’m judgy like that.

Being the scientific chick that I am, I chose my favorites. Without further ado, my current top 10 bad girls of history:

Copy of the only known Bathory portrait
Artist Unknown

Erzsebet Bathory

It is my duty to be good to my husband and keep myself beautiful for him. God has shown me how to do this so I would be unwise not to take advantage of the opportunity.

As mentioned above, killed 600 people in pretty gruesome fashion. 600 PEOPLE. That’d be like killing all of my Facebook friends. She indulged is so many fetishes- BDSM, blood, torture, even cannibalism for Christ's sake- all in the name of her "beauty" ritual of bathing in virgin blood. (Maybe.) Bitch needed some Oil of Olay or even the fancy shit at Macy's. Good times in 16th Century Hungary.

Anne Boleyn

I heard the executioner was very good. And I have a little neck.

Did she sleep with her brother? And a poet? And a groom? Did she really commit treason? I don’t know. I do know her father was a power hungry douchebag (you should definitely encourage your daughters to be mistresses- classy!) He died in disgrace and her brother was executed for treason, as was his bitch of a wife Jane Rochford (OMG, I have such a hate on for that woman.) Was Anne Boleyn evil? Probably not. A bad girl? Probably. She definitely had six fingers and a killer sense of style.

Portrait of a Woman
Bartolomeo Veneto

Lucrezia Borgia

If people knew the reasons for my fears, they would be able to understand my pain.

Again with the incest. But also a poisoner! Actually, she was most likely just a woman intensely and selfishly devoted to her family. But poison and incest are SO much more interesting.

Caesar and Cleopatra
Jean Leon George

Cleopatra

I will not be triumphed over.

Sure, she was an amazing administrator and Egypt’s culture and economy flourished under her reign. She spoke eight or nine languages (think of all the people you know that haven't mastered ONE!) But she murdered her own brother and sister to become the Queen of Egypt! She was the mistress/wife of Julius Caesar and Mark Antony! She swallowed a priceless pearl to demonstrate her wealth! Man, the legend is always so much better than the reality. For example, wouldn't you rather think I was up all night partying and that's why this blog is late? Alas, the shitty reality is that I have a cold again and slept all day.

Nell Gwynn
Sir Peter Lely

Nell Gwyn

I am a whore. Find something else to fight about.

Gwyn’s feisty wit and lusty personality are the reason King Charles II, on his deathbed, begged his brother, “Let not poor Nelly starve.” And she didn’t. Starting out as an orange seller at a local theater, young Nell Gwyn soon found herself on stage playing parts written by none other than John Dryden. She attracted not only the attention of not only record audiences, but that of King Charles II, the Merry Monarch himself. Considered his most cherished mistress, she was also the least greedy and power-hungry: which may explain why Charles II stayed with her (despite having 13 or so other mistresses) until his death.

LaLaurie Mansion, 1140 Royal Street
Hey! I've been drunk here!

Delphine LaLaurie

Breaking the cage open, the rescuers found that the LaLaurie’s had broken all of her joints, resetting them at odd angles so she resembled a human crab.

I included LaLaurie due to my deep and abiding love of New Orleans. It seems list of bad girls would not be complete without at least one lady from The Big Easy. Holy hell, this particular piece of work was fucked up. LaLaurie had a reputation for cruelty to her slaves and in fact, several were actually removed from her residence. Of course, money brought them right back. If not for a fire (purposely started by a seventy-year old slave chained to the stove) LaLaurie may have continued her sadistic torturing forever. After the incident and subsequent investigation that uncovered decades of unholy acts, an angry mob attacked the LaLaurie Mansion, setting it on fire and running LaLaurie out of the country (and thus restoring a tiny bit of faith in humanity.) The LaLaurie Mansion (since restored) was actually owned for a time by Nicolas Cage. 

Bonnie Parker

Tell them I don't smoke cigars.

I freak out if I get pulled over for speeding. Hell, I have such a guilty conscience, I freak when a cop talks to me. Parker was involved in at least one hundred felony criminal actions during her two-year career in crime. This includes, but is not limited to, kidnapping, murder, armed robbery and one major jail break. She also chain-smoked Camels, not cigars, dammit!

Margaret Sanger

No woman can call herself free who does not own and control her body.

Considering the current controversy over birth control and woman’s health, we ladies may need to channel the spirit of Sanger in 2013. Jesus Christ, I am so fucking sick of old, white dudes nebbing into my sex life.  She promoted the pill before the pill existed. And got tossed in the clink for it. She went on to found Planned Parenthood, a godsend for prom nights everywhere.

Wallis Simpson
The Sketch, 1936

Wallis Simpson

A woman can't be too rich or too thin.

King Edward VIII of the United Kingdom abdicated his throne to marry her. Enough said.

Mae West

When I'm good, I'm very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better.

The very first play she wrote (Sex) got her convicted on a morals charge. Not too many people think of West as a writer, but she not only wrote successful theater scripts, she also wrote much of her own dialogue. The lady who said, “Those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often,” was an instant success and never looked back.

Nothing like reading about 'ole Erzsebet and Delphine to make you feel like the picture of perfect mental health. Hopefully I'll always be more Mae West, less bathe in virgin blood. 

Happy St. Patrick's Day: Irish Authors

Art: Sean Roche

To my knowledge, I don't have a drop of Irish blood. None. Nada. Nil. In fact, my whole family skews Eastern European (Russia, Ukraine, Austria, German.) But I really like Irish stuff! I like U2 and I adore The Pogues. I like Irish actors (hello there, Jonathan Rhys Meyers and Liam Neeson) and soda bread. I love the color green. I like Irish wool. I like Irish Whiskey, even though it makes me fighty. I'll confess, I have no great love of Guinness, but I drink Straub for God's sake.

And I love, love, love Irish writers. Mostly.

We all know about James Joyce and his unGodly sentences, "untroubled by punctuation." (Think he's overrated? Check this out.) But then there's Oscar Wilde, George Bernard Shaw, C.S. Lewis, and Jonathan Swift! Each one more readable than the next!

Contemporary Irish Authors

Ken Bruen, the Jack Taylor Detective Series

There'll be times when the only refuge is books. Then you'll read as if you meant it, as if your life depended on it.

The Jack Taylor series has received numerous awards and nominations, including two Shamus Awards from the Private Eye Writers of America and the Best Series Award from the Crime Writers Association. Jack Taylor is a former member of the Irish Guards, an alcoholic and very self-destructive. He reminds me of an Irish Harry Hole (Jo Nesbo, Sweden.) Jack Taylor is dark and brutal, but also incredibly smart and witty. The novels are a little bit crime, a little bit childhood and a little bit the life of Jack Taylor.

Roddy Doyle, novels, screenplays

It's the only thing sexier than a sexy woman. A sexy woman cooking fuckin' sausages. 

Doyle is sort of a Renaissance Man. He writes novels. He writes short stories and stage plays and screenplays. He writes children's books. He wrote a memoir about his parents. He won the Booker Prize for Paddy Clarke Ha Ha Ha. Doyle is perhaps most well-known for his Barrytown Trilogy (The Commitments, The Snapper, The Van.) The trilogy is about the "World's Hardest Working Band" trying to bring soul music to 1980s Dublin and is told almost entirely in dialogue. A good short read for music lovers, it feels like you are sitting in on their rehearsals and shows.

Tana French, the Dublin Murder Squad Series

What I am telling you, before you begin my story, is this--two things: I crave truth. And I lie.

I love this series. I've written about it a number of times, here and for my work blog. If you are interested in in-depth police procedural novels that include equally in-depth character development, then French is for you. Her first novel, In the Woods, won an Edgar Award for Best First Novel- and each novel in the series is better than the last. All of the books in the series are well-written, nuanced and creepy, but for me at least, Broken Harbor was the creepiest. All the talk of mystery rodents, and an empty, ghostly housing plan- CHILLS!

Neil Jordan, screenplays, short stories, novels

I hoped that grief was similar to the other emotions. That is would end, the way happiness did. Or laughter. 

Neil Jordan has done a lot of stuff. He's directed a bunch of movies, written a bunch of screenplays, novels, short stories and then some. He's probably most famous for being that dude that wrote and directed The Crying Game. (To this day, I'm still not entirely sure what happened there.) I like Jordan because of his first book of short stories, Night in Tunisia and his novel Shade. I am also apparently the only person on Earth who didn't find Shade confusing, difficult to read, staged or stagnant. Some of the reviews are actually hostile. It's narrated by a the ghost of a murdered woman (partially) and is very, very detailed. Like Charles Dickens details, if you know what I mean. Night in Tunisia is bleak and melancholy and beautifully written. And keep in mind, he was 25 when most of the stories were written. So, you know, grain of salt and whatnot.

Claire Keegan, short stories, novels

My heart feels not so much in my chest as in my hands. I am carrying it along swiftly, as though I have become the messenger for what is going on inside me.

Keegan is considered one of the best Irish writers living today. I agree. Sometimes you read a book exactly when you need to. That is how I felt about Keegan's first collection of short stories, Antarctica. The stories are dark, all about betrayal and consequences. There are no happy endings here, but somehow that's better. It won several awards, including the Rooney Prize for Irish Literature and was a Los Angeles Times Best Book (2001.) Foster, winner of the Davy Byrnes Memorial Prize, is eerie and heart-breaking. A young girl is sent to live on an farm in rural Ireland. Instead of back-breaking farm labor, she finds shelter in a warm kitchen, treated like an only child ("a gem") for the first time. Don't blame me for the ending.

Patrick McCabe, plays, novels

'Bye Bye, Father, I said as the confessional door clicked shut behind me, 'Ah's' eyes following me, wondering, I suppose, what He'd been drinking the day he went and made a twilight zone disaster like me.

I think if I met McCabe, we could be friends. He has that anti-authoritarian attitude that I appreciate. Also, he is writer cut. And his novels are darkly funny. That kind of funny where you laugh and then think, "Oh, I'm surely going to Hell for laughing at that." His third novel, The Butcher Boy was shortlisted for the Booker Prize and won the Irish Times Aer-Lingus award for fiction. Butcher Boy is written in a stream-of-consciousness form that isn't for everyone. Francis (Francie) Brady is a young man living in a violent fantasy world in 1960s Ireland. McCabe addresses the stagnation and cloying atmosphere of small-towns in many of his novels, but in Butcher Boy you feel it the most. The town has a lovely veneer covering the brutality and violence within. Patrick McCabe is also credited with creating the genre "Bog Gothic" which hasn't failed to make me laugh since I discovered it.

Colum McCann, short stories, novels

The world spins. We stumble on. It is enough.

First of all, Colum McCann is a very active Good Reads user- as in , he actually gives books stars and talks to other users. That's a rare thing for a popular author to do and pretty neat. Second of all, Let the Great World Spin is one of the best books ever! Many different stories are interwoven around the "artistic crime of the century," or the famous tightrope performance by Philippe Petit in August of 1974. A priest, prostitutes, mourning mothers: they all stood mesmerized for one hot summer morning. Dave Eggers, an excellent author in his own right, wrote, "This is a gorgeous book, multilayered and deeply felt, and it's a damned lot of fun to read, too. Leave it to an Irishman to write one of the greatest-ever novels about New York." I wholeheartedly agree.


 
Edna O'Brien, novels, plays, short stories

In our deepest moments we say the most inadequate things.

Edna O'Brien's first novel, The Country Girls (1960) , was banned in her native land. That's how you know it's good! She's won a boatload of awards, including the Frank O'Connor Prize and a lifetime achievement award from the Irish Literary Academy. I haven't read the Country Girls Trilogy, but after reading the reviews, it is definitely on my list. The lives of the women in her novels are dismal and repressed and the endings are not all happy.

Colm Toibin, novelist

Some of our loves and attachments are elemental and beyond our choosing, and for that very reason they come spiced with pain and regret and need and hollowness and a feeling as close to anger as I will ever be able to imagine.

Toibin has won more awards than I can reasonable list here. If you really want to know, click on his name. It's a lot. And all well-deserved. When I read Brooklyn, I had no idea Toiblin was Irish. Not that it mattered, but I felt like he really captured the essence of post- WWII America. A young Irish woman, Eilis Lacey, comes to America to escape the desolation of her small town. Finding work in a big department store, she lives in Brooklyn which is "just like Ireland." She slowly falls in love with Tony, an Italian with a huge family and a great love of baseball. Brooklyn is a good reminder of how most of us are just mutts, a mishmash of different nationalities that all came to the US to escape one thing or another.

William Trevor, novels, short stories, plays

I read hungrily and delightedly, and have realized since that you can write unless you read.

Trevor has a cool story. He first worked as a sculptor in Northern Ireland. Traveled to England to find work. His first novel failed. He wrote copy. Since then, he's written over 40 novels, won a ton of national and international awards and is way less bitter. My favorite title of his is The Story of Lucy Gault. Set in 1920s Ireland, the history alone is worth the read. Living a life of privilege, the Gault family decides to move to England to escape the threat of violence. But 9 year old Lucy doesn't want to leave her home. She runs away, putting in motion a tragic series of events. Trevor's writing is beautiful, descriptive- you feel like you are in the scenes, especially the landscapes of Lahardane.

Happy Saint Patrick's Day Reading!

p.s. If anyone has any idea how to add acute accents to letters in Blogger, please tell me. Sorry to all the Irish writers who lost their accents today.

Pittsburgh Stuff: A Birthday Treat to Me.

Pittsburgh: Home of Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood. 

I love Pittsburgh so much that I saved this topic for the week of my birthday (March 7) as a treat. (I will wait while the birthday presents roll in.) I'm officially closer to 40 than 30 now; I need all the damn treats I can get. Preferably of the low-calorie, low-fat variety. Just give me fruit, I guess.

*sigh*

I kid, I kid. Turning 36 is fine. It sure beats being in my 20s, which were an atrocity best forgotten by all.

Pittsburgh Skyline from Mt. Washington

Let me tell you some amazing things about where I live. But promise not to tell anyone because we have enough people here already. We get lots of prestigious awards here in Pittsburgh. I personally think the coolest one was from National Geographic Traveler in 2012. Pittsburgh was listed as one of the best trips in the WORLD. This is a list that includes New Zealand, Croatia, Mongolia and Thailand!

In the same week were voted the 4th Most Literate City in the US (because our public library rocks!) and voted Most Romantic by Amazon. Everyone knows that literate people are good at doing it. We are also regularly voted most affordable (6th), safest, most livable (29th world wide), and we have the NUMBER ONE ballpark (PNC Park) as voted on by Fox Sports. We have internationally known museums, theater venues and a bunch of other great art stuff.

No joke, this happened yesterday: "It's official: Pittsburgh is best place live in U.S." according to to Economist Intelligence Unit.

Senator John Heinz History Center

And I love all of these awards, but they do not capture what Pittsburgh is really like. In Pittsburgh, if you are lost we don't give you directions, we drive there to show you and call you "Hon" while we're doing it. This is not an urban myth. I've done it myself. We have this amazing thing at weddings called a cookie table. We have our own damn dialect. We say things like "Kennywood's open." Pittsburgh is a place where stuff like THIS happens. Enough said.

Pittsburgh Books and Authors

Out of this Furnace, Thomas Bell
Out of this Furnace is one of my favorite books and my favorite Pittsburgh book of all time. Also, while I was working on this post, I discovered Thomas Bell and I share the same birthday! That kind of made my day. Anyways, Out of this Furnace follows three generations of an immigrant Slovak family- the Dobrejaks. Patriarch Djuro Kracha arrives in the mid-1880s and makes his way to Braddock, Pennsylvania. Working in the steel mills, Kracha's bad decisions (money and personal) contribute to his downfall. Part two follows his daughter, Mary and her marriage to political idealist Mike. It is an amazing portrait of the immigrant experience in Pittsburgh, a fascinating look at the inhumane conditions in the steel industry, and documents the rise of unions and the people who fought and died for workers rights. I'll say up front that it's a heavy read, but it's worth it.

Carry Me Across the Water, Ethan Canin
Although not entirely set in Pittsburgh, Carry Me Across the Water offers insight into the lifestyle of the industry barons of Pittsburgh after World War II. August Kleinman escapes Nazi Germany to America and becomes a successful businessman. Now in the last stages of his life, with his beloved wife gone, he relives his childhood in pre-war Germany, particularly in regard to one enemy solider. Canin is also author of America, America, a fascinating look at the inner-workings of a political family and campaign and the wonderful Emperor of the Air, a collection of short stories.

Silent Spring, Rachel Carson

Those who contemplate the beauty of the earth find reserves of strength that will endure as long as life lasts. There is something infinitely healing in the repeated refrains of nature--the assurance that dawn comes after night, and spring after winter.

Rachel Carson was born in Springdale, PA. Her book, Silent Spring, is largely responsible for starting the modern environmental movement. Although the lists of dying animals, fish, poisoned workers and water can feel like a tirade, thanks to Silent Spring we are at least not getting poisoned by DDT anymore.

Mysteries of Pittsburgh, Michael Chabon
Any list of Pittsburgh books has to have this one. I may be asked to leave the city, but I don't really care for this book (or any of Chabon's writing, really.) I try. I do! (My husband just told me that just because it has Pittsburgh in the title doesn't mean I have to like it.) The Mysteries of Pittsburgh is about a young, sheltered man, Art Bechstein, and his first summer out of college. Clueless, suffering from sexual confusion, he meets Arthur and Cleveland- who are more than happy to guide him. I read a review that basically said that books written from the point of view of rich, white kids don't appeal. I agree.

The Chief, Rob Zellers, Gene Collier
There are hundreds of sports books on Pittsburgh teams and athletes. After all, we are home to Roberto Clemente, Mario Lemieux, The Steel Curtain, and Myron Cope. The Chief is hands down my favorite. It is a one-man play about legendary Steelers owner Art Rooney. Using journals from Rooney, Jr. and interviews with family, friends, former players and other owners, it is an amazing ride through the history of the Steelers and of the city itself. Interesting facts about the Steelers: they were originally the Pittsburgh Pirates, they have been owned by the same family since their creation in 1933, and when World War II caused player shortages they joined the Philadelphia Eagles (ew) and formed the "Steagles." The Chief has been performed at the O'Reilly Theater numerous times, with the incomparable Tom Atkins as Art Rooney. I saw it. I cried.

Lighthead, Terrance Hayes

All species have a notion of emptiness, and yet the flowers don't quit opening. I am carrying the whimper you can / hear when the mouth is collapsed, the wisdom of monkeys. Ask a glass of water why it pities the rain. Ask the / lunatic yard dog why it tolerates the leash. Brothers and sisters, when you spend your nights out on a limb, there's a / chance you'll fall in your sleep.

Terrance Hayes visited on of my writing classes; not only he is an extraordinary poet, but he's also a genuine, funny, engaged speaker. Although not born in Pittsburgh, Hayes lives and works here and we sure are happy to claim him. His fourth collection of poetry, Lighthead, won the National Book Award for poetry. His poems are imaginative, sometimes funny, sometimes somber, but always compelling. While I'm reading one poem, I find myself looking forward to the next poem. If you ever have a chance to hear him read, DO IT.

Raymond Carver Will Not Raise Our Children, Dave Newman
This is on my book list. I don't want to lie and say I read it when I didn't. It is the story of what it's like to be a father, a working writer and a husband. Many reviews also say it's a book about Pittsburgh. From what I understand, the amount of drinking that happens here is also observed. Should be interesting, says the woman with the wicked hangover.

Everyday People, Stewart O'Nan
Prolific Pittsburgh author O'Nan really captured the essence of the East Liberty neighborhood in Everyday People. As someone who worked in "Sliberty" for five years and watched the recent gentrification, the story of the East Busway construction was fascinating. Embarrassingly, I never realized quite how definitively that construction cut off East Liberty from the surrounding areas. And as someone who worked in a library there, the stories are often painful and heartbreaking to read, but sadly not unfamiliar.

The Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas, Gertrude Stein
Okay, I know Stein only lived in Pittsburgh until she was three, but I'm claiming her, dammit! Because she's funny as hell, a great writer and art collector, and said things like:

If you can't say anything nice about anyone else, come sit next to me. 

The Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas is a pseudo-autobiography about Stein herself, since Alice was her longtime partner. It has been described as a (self-absorbed) love letter to Alice, a straight up autobiography, or that Stein wrote it because she was tired of waiting for Alice to write it. It's a conversational book, with interesting anecdotes, recounting the many artists and writers Stein and Toklas were involved with, including T.S. Eliot, Picasso, Hemmingway and F. Scott Fitzgerald.

Brothers and Keepers, John Edgar Wideman
You ever know two siblings who are so different you wonder if they're really related? This memoir by Wideman, the first person to ever win the Pen/Faulkner Award for Fiction twice, attempts to answer that question. One brother sentenced to life in prison for murder, the other brother a professor at Brown University- both grew up in the same rough community (Homewood) with the same opportunities. Wideman writes to understand why. He is incredibly hard on himself about his success and his imagined failure to his brother. This book isn't Chicken Soup for the Soul inspirational; it is a memoir that truly examines what blood and brotherhood mean and the vagaries of fate.

There are so many other books I could have added, but I feel like these ones capture both the good and the bad of Pittsburgh. And don't forget, Pittsburgh is home to the movies Flashdance, Silence of the Lambs, Warrior and Dark Knight Rises. (I don't understand how Tom Hardy was in my town twice and I missed him. Sad. I'll get him next time.)

Photo Gallery of Pittsburgh!

The Back-Up Post.

For a month or so I've had a back-up post ready in the event that I was: a.) Too lazy to write a weekly post, despite my determination to do so for every Friday. b.) On vacation (as if) or c.) For some reason, couldn't write something.

I couldn't write too much this week. I have that weird cold/throat thing that everyone has. You know, the one that makes you congested, but you can't really blow your nose and is accompanied by a stabby throat feeling that is probably from post-nasal drip? Yeah, that cold. I've been working and sleeping.

The best thing that happened to me this week was being mentioned on this blog. I certainly can't imagine a more appropriate place for a shout-out than on the blog of a dude that runs 100 miles at a time in the Colorado mountains. Book bloggers + endurance runners = peanut butter and jelly. Looking forward to getting a sweet coffee mug from the Pikes Peak Library!

Photo: JT

This back-up post was not phoned in at all. I'm all about quality. One of my favorite things in the world is going on vacation and taking a huge series of books with me. I read the Sookie Stackhouse Series in Myrtle Beach, SC. I read A Song of Fire and Ice in Tybee Island, GA. I love the total immersion into a fictional world. Here are favorites, some popular, some not.

Douglas Adams, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Restaurant at the End of the Universe, Life, the Universe and Everything, So Long and Thanks for All the Fish, Mostly Harmless
Resistance is useless! This series is so damn smart, it's impossible to resist. It's hard to write about this series without giving too much away. Briefly, things are not what they seem on Planet Earth. In fact, we are little more than an experiment. Follow Englishman Arthur Dent as he travels through space with his buddy, Ford Prefect, a writer for the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. And, whatever you do, don't forget your towel.

Valerie Anand, Bridges Over Time
The Proud Villeins, The Ruthless Yeomen, Women of Ashdon, The Faithful Lovers, The Cherished Wives, The Dowerless Sisters
This is one of those series that I found on accident. I had just read Pillars of the Earth and the follow-up, World Without End by Ken Follet and was looking for books about the 12th Century. Because of course I was. Beginning right before the Norman Conquest of England, the Bridges Over Time books follow the life of one family, starting with Sir Ivon de Clairpont, a Norman knight. Ivon is sold as a thrall (slave) to a wealthy landowner in Northern England and that is where the story begins. Bridges ultimately follows Ivon's family through English history ending (unbelievably) in the 1960s. You can read each book as a stand alone, but it is fascinating to follow generations of one family from slavery to modern-day England.

V.C. Andrews, Dollanganger Series
Flowers in the Attic, Petals on the Wind, If There Be Thorns, Seeds of Yesterday, Garden of Shadows

Oh yes, I went there. To this day I cannot think of a more compulsively readable series. I remember my best friend giving me Flowers in the Attic right before my 12th birthday. OMFG. And holy shit, there are four more? And I can get them at my local used bookstore for a quarter apiece? Beautiful family! Death! Evil religious grandma guarding a large fortune! Incest! Starvation! There is an absolutely brilliant review of this by "Alex" on Goodreads: "Ladies and gentlemen, this was your puberty. How our generation functions at all, with this in our pasts, is beyond me." I couldn't put it better myself.

Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games
The Hunger Games, Catching Fire, Mockingjay
Unless you live in a media-black vacuum, you have to be aware of the Hunger Game series (now a major motion picture!) The Hunger Games, sort of a Running Man for teenagers, is a gladiator-style competition pitting 20 young adults against each other in a fight to the death in a dystopian country called Panem. Katniss Everdeen is the heroine of our series- she can shoot a bow and arrow like nobody's business, survive in the woods, she's beautiful, kind to animals and children, and has two young men panting after her. While the first book feels a little precious at times, books two and three are far more entertaining and bloody. When my husband saw the movie with me, he was a little puzzled, as in, "This is a book for kids?"

Conn Iggulden, Conqueror Series
Wolf of the Plains, Lords of the Bow, Bones of the Hills, Empire of Silver, Conqueror
I go through reading phases. For a long time I was very interested in Genghis Khan and Mongolia. Iggulden's series is Genghis Khan from birth to death.  His story is really interesting (what little is known; it was in 1100.) Born Temujin, his early life was very difficult. His father died while he too young to take over the clan. Instead he was abandoned (along with his mother and siblings) to survive alone on the brutal steppe. And survive he did. Not only did he rise to become Khan of the Mongol Empire- the largest contiguous empire in history- but he was tolerant of all religions (that wasn't happening too much in 1200) to the point where he consulted leaders from Islam, Christianity, and Buddhism, and adopted an official script for the whole empire. And he got with so many ladies that in 2013, there is still a 0.5% chance that you're related to him. Not too shabby.

Charlaine Harris, The Sookie Stackhouse Series
I've written about my love of this series before, as well as for the television show. I won't repeat myself, but let me reiterate how much fun the series is. Vampires, were-animals, fairies, Louisiana (the bayou and New Orleans), lots and lots of hot gratuitous sex and violence. Harris is a fine writer and her stories move along quickly- I read the first ten on a week long vacation.

Stieg Larsson, Millennium Trilogy
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, The Girl Who Played with Fire, The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest
Like The Hunger Games, if you missed this series you should probably come out of your cave. Aside from the fact that the trilogy is extraordinary, there is the whole controversy around the author's death and the rights to his novels. For the record, I'm on the side of his long-time girlfriend (32 YEARS), but that's neither here nor there. Lisbeth Salander is one of the greatest heroines in literature. I'm putting her right up there with Jane Eyre and Elizabeth Bennett. No joke. Larsson's trilogy is not only the story of Salander (although that is the over-arching story of all three novels), but three intense mysteries, as well. From a missing niece to sex trafficking, affairs and corrupt politicians, there is a little bit of everything.

George R.R. Martin, A Song of Fire and Ice
Game of Thrones, A Clash of Kings, A Storm of Swords, A Feast for Crows, A Dance with Dragons
Where do you even start when describing five books that each come in at over 1,000 pages??? Huge, epic series that has spawned an HBO show and a million memes. There are even quizzes to determine what house you would be in (House Targaryan for me), what character you should marry, what character you are, the list is endless because the Internet is never over! There are multiple storylines throughout the series, but there are three main ones: the fight for control of Westeros, the journey of the Targaryen family who believe the throne of Westeros belongs to them and the threat of "The Others" that live behind an ice wall in northern Westeros. There are so many characters- and many to fall in love with (Jaime Lannister, don't judge) and hate with the burning intensity of ten thousand sons (looking at you Prince Joffrey)-  to keep track and Martin has no problem killing off your favorites, so brace yourself. Winter is coming.

L.A. Meyer, The Bloody Jack Adventures
I love Jacky Faber! This is technically a children's series, but don't let that stop you from reading it. It's so much fun. Jacky Faber is a great heroine- sassy, smart, funny, bold- and each book also contains loads of historical details. Jacky "Bloody Jack" Faber is starving and living in poverty in 18th Century London when she finds herself a sailor on the HMS Dolphin. A huge improvement from dying in the street, Jacky loves the sailor life. Her only problem is that everyone on board thinks she's a HE named Jack. By keeping her secret, Jacky is in for adventure! Each book is based in a different part of the world and they are all wonderful reads.

Sharon Kay Penman, Welsh Princes & Henry the II & Eleanor of Acquitaine
Welsh Princes: Here Be Dragons, Falls the Shadow, The Reckoning
Henry II: Eleanor of Aquitaine, When Christ and His Saints Slept, Time and Chance, Devil's Brood
I enjoyed both of these series' so much that I decided to talk about both of them. The Welsh Princes series introduced me to a part of history that is fascinating: both in the historical context and as a story. Ever wonder why an Englishman is the Prince of Wales? These novels explain the Welsh loss of land and titles to the English, including through war and intermarriage. The second book is the story of Simon de Montfort, 6th Earl of Leicester, one of histories coolest dudes. The Henry II series opens with the death of King Henry I and the long bitter struggle for throne of England. The nearly twenty year struggle between Maude, Countess of Anjou, daughter of King Henry I and her cousin Stephen is chronicled in a compelling voice, making the history vivid and immediate. In Time and Chance, we finally see Eleanor of Acquitaine and Henry II and the beginning of the Plantagenet dynasty. Devil's Brood is the implosion of the family; the passion, betrayal, and rebellion that colors most of their history in colorful and meticulous detail.

Happy Reading!